Thursday, March 26, 2009

Letter to Slap Chop Vince

The Slap Chop Infomercial:
Please watch and be sure to read the letter I wrote to him..

March 26, 2009

Dear Vince (from the slap chop infomercial),

I understand that your just trying to sell this product --- but dude, your a real jerk off!

Your infomercial starts out cool and I appreciate you trying to help me "slap my troubles away". 

But really Vince (no last name) who are you? 

Do we know eachother? Do you really know the troubles that I have?

And for your information, I DO like salads and I don't hate making them. 

Maybe you hate salads but I don't. 

You're not even there when I order lunch!!!!

HOLD UP! Your out of control! Who are you to tell me that my life is boring?? 
You are not in my social network! And I know for a fact that we are not facebook friends.

And just because you want me to have some damned tuna salad you think that my life will suddenly be filled with excitement. 

Dude, get over yourself I am totally fine with just mayo!

And I told my boyfriend that he should smack you for telling me "your gonna love my nuts"

I hate you!

And what in gods name does "open like a butterfly" mean?
Do you mean the wings? Your confusing!

Ha! I think your calling me fat! Why are you saying that all of America is fat? I'm not!

I think I figured you out buddy! Your insane! Only crazy people say crap like "tacos, fettucini, linguini, martini, bikini"
Wtf? Lol you need to retire and stop making infomercials.

Good day & Good luck,


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